Losing ‘friends’

So while I am going though this journey, I have realized that I am losing friends. I have a ‘friend’ who decided to try to sabotage me, or so it feels like. She knew I was going to be having my surgery and that I wouldn’t be able to eat, and my birthday was coming up, and she wanted to take me out. I told her it was very sweet, but I couldn’t, and that I appreciate the thought. She said, “oh we can just have a cheat day”. Um, no we can’t, this 2 week diet serves a very specific purpose, it helps shrink you liver so that during surgery it is easier to operate. I definitely didn’t want to chance any complications, and it really felt like she was not really caring about the safety and importance of what I was doing. Oh well, I have officially put her on guard. It just makes it hard when our kids go to the same school. I am just really glad that my son doesn’t like her daughter anymore, I mean the like like, so no more crush on her. That makes it easier, but still hard because they are still friends.

I have realized this person has been sharing details of my surgery, or even about my marriage. Little back story, we all went camping. My husband is bipolar, and his medications were not working, he ended up going home. Good decision for him to make, I was okay with it. He called me because I stayed behind with our son to camp, saying that I was flirting with a guy (which I wasn’t), and that he wants a divorce, and that he is going to call the police to get our okay. son, and on and on. Obviously he was in a manic episode, and staying at the campsite for a few days was the best thing for me to do at the moment. He never has hurt me before, and I was not fearful of that. This was embarrassing because it was very obvious there was an issue, and hard because I was the target of his manic state. Was this easy? No, but is it a medical condition? Yes. Is he better now? Absolutely. Medication trials are not easy, and finding the correct medication can be a very long process to go though. As much as he is suffering, so was I. Did my ‘friend’ care enough to really be a friend in this situation? No. She pretty much made it clear that this was a problem for her. My husband was ‘unpredictable’…okay. I disagree with her characterization, as he has had 1 manic episode in the 9 years we have been married. Sorry chick, but you have no place to open your mouth. I guess that I am mostly shocked and saddened by her lack of education. She has a 4 year degree from a university, and she has no acceptance of mental health issues, which to me is very sad. I couldn’t believe that someone with a education from a university would ever be so ignorant of mental health issues. The irony of the situation, she was diagnosed as MANIC DEPRESSIVE, which is the same damn thing as bipolar. Sheer ignorance on her part. I just hope that people are more understanding of her mental health disorder than she was to my husband.

I found out after this whole ordeal, over a month later, she began to share with anyone and everyone. Telling people I am having marital issues, and then having the nerve to tell me I need to divorce my husband. Really not her place to share that information, and to even tell me anything about my marriage. She also started telling everyone that I was having weight loss surgery. Typically, I am not embarrassed about having surgery, but thus far I had lost all the weight without any surgery. She did this as a deliberate attempt to diminish my efforts so far. I have worked hard so far, and she was making that feel meaningless.

There will be people who become more and more distant while you go though this process, don’t take it personally, it is their own insecurity that causes this problem. You are not going to be the fat dopey friend anymore, so you are now competition or something. I don’t really know, but I am not going to let it bother me, and I definitely won’t lose sleep over it. Just watch your back and always be diligent to remove people who are toxic from your life.